I wrote this essay "An Epidemic of Never Being Alone" for my Substack Matriarchy Report, when I realized that after I had my baby, I hadn't been alone in my home for any significant stretch of time for almost three years.
Many parents, especially women, are deprived of time to themselves, and in the comments it was wonderful to see how many women related to this. It was also delightful to see how many mid-to-late life women live alone and LOVE IT. Which no one talks about!
I lived alone (well, with my daughter) when my marriage broke up. Then years later, after I'd dated my boyfriend for two years, we moved in together. We broke up earlier this year and I'm living alone again with my adult daughter. I can confidently say I never want to live with a man again! I find so much peace being on my own.
If I ever stopped being married for some reason, I would definitely choose to live alone! Although, I already tend to self-isolate, so maybe that's not a surprise, ha. Thanks for sharing.
Early motherhood turned my drinking problem into a raging drinking problem. I wish I'd had the courage to ask for support. Grateful that I did eventually. Such an important topic.
Oof, I'm so sorry. You are not alone in this. So many women and women writers who admire immensely have come out about their drinking/addictions that worsened during the pandemic lockdown--which of course was like the isolation of postpartum x1 million.
I have been divorced now for 14 years, and have been alone for 10 of those years (after a post-divorce-too-soon-and painful relationship after my divorce. Lots of reasons I stayed single, but I needed the time on my own to process all of the baggage I had not realized I had.
And what I have learned is alone doesn't equate to loneliness.
In fact, being alone, whether single or otherwise, is essential and healthy for regrouping, processing that which needs processing, and energizing ourselves. I can attest to the empowerment of dancing (maybe naked) a time or two. Great prompt for us all to ponder.
Yes! "I needed the time on my own to process all of the baggage I had not realized I had." I also lived alone after my divorce and I look back on it now as such a magical and formative time.
I shared this post with my college roommate a couple weeks ago! She asked me everything I liked to do when I was alone at home- she commented she never lived alone because she always had roommates before moving in with her husband. I lived alone for only one year when I moved to my current city before my sister moved in with me while she was attending grad school.
Yes! I think this is true for so many women. I have to say that I would live alone again, but living with a sister might beat that option! Living with women has been some of the BEST times of my life.
I was talking about this last night at book club and living with my sister when she was in grad school and I was in law school was hands down best experience of my life- we had the same standards of clean, same taste in tv, divided chores really easily because we defaulted to what we did growing up. I cooked more than her but I genuinely didn’t mind because she was so appreciative of my effort. Cooking for kids compared to cooking for my sister is so much more thankless!
I actually do live on a compound of sorts with my in-laws but my sister lives 40 minutes away now- at one point my in-laws, BIL and SIL, husbands grandparents and his aunt and uncle all lived in our neighborhood but now his brother’s fam is gone and his grandparents died. But there are still 4 family owned properties on our street and then his aunt and uncle live in a house on the perpendicular street. My husband’s other aunt and uncle live 10 minutes away and the night I met them, his family joked about needing to pack a cooler to leave the compound. My husband claims we are moving in 3 school years when my oldest starts middle school but I won’t believe it until it happens. I am very thankful for the relationship my kids have with their grandparents and the relationship I have with my MIL and FIL.
My parents moved 10 minutes away 3 years ago and my sister visits on a near weekly basis.
Is midlife necessarily a crisis or is it all about getting real, unbecoming what we have been pushed to be and finally allowing ourselves to become that creative being we were meant to be from the start?
It does feel a little bit like becoming and a little bit like unbecoming. I don't feel like I'm in crisis. If anything, I'm feeling a loosening up of arbitrary rules that don't work or fit anymore. Thanks for sharing these posts!
I love the idea of midlife being an opportunity to put down the baggage we've all been dragging around for so many years. I'm constantly realizing that my life is shaped by influences that have nothing to do with how I live my life now--but the only way to escape that influence is to acknowledge what's true for me.
I think of it as unbecoming everything we were told we should be to become who we truly are! YES! I call it a midlife emergence® and wrote a book by that title that you may enjoy! Loved, commented, restacked!
I'm going to go read your piece about whether midlife is a crisis or not, out of sheer curiosity because "crisis" just doesn't resonate with me at all. It may be because of what I have going on, but I'm super curious to read what other's are experiencing. Looking forward to it!
Hi! I am honored to be in the company of you badass midlifers.
This post was a guest post I wrote for SoberSubstack app. ⬆️
“I Don’t Want to Be Amazing Anymore”
The underlying inspiration for the post is sobriety from alcohol, but I address something that I think many, maybe most of us, women struggle with:
PERFECTIONISM and PEOPLE PLEASING going way back to childhood, my parents and school and clear up up my midlife parenting to adult children and my codependency there and my job.
Yes! I gave up alcohol a little over a year ago, and am a recovering perfectionist. It's so interesting how it took getting to midlife for me to be able to recognize the widespread impact being a "good girl" has had on so many facets of my life.
That connection between perfectionism and alcohol abuse is always so surprising to people. But, given that we're all imperfect human beings, how can we live with ourselves without blurring the line we can't help but cross? Even being sober is a challenge for me because I want to be the "perfect" non-drinker (as if such a thing exists.)
And I have another stack. Launched about 2.5 months ago, it's called "Style Your Stack." I'm a web and graphic designer and have been working with writer clients to help them identify their brands and looks. Organizational and tech/backend help as well. One of my most recent posts there is about helping Sarah Fay of Substack Writers at Work rebrand that stack and I also helped her rebrand her author stack and move her away from a traditional website to only having the author stack. She's thrilled about the changes.
Nan, I will be getting it touch with you about doing a workshop in the future for our readers, if that's okay. I know for a fact that many, many of us could use your help!
I wrote a post about how the supposed midlife "crisis" is really a midlife OPPORTUNITY, and how it's so important for women in midlife to find community and support with each other.
I both enjoyed and wholeheartedly agreed with this <3 Thanks for posting it! While I know we control very little in this life, I do think we can change our approach toward and perception of who we are and what we value. Shifting that mindset can be tough, though, especially with all the messaging we get (and have gotten)!
I've just refocused my Stack (My Therapist Says You're All Rooting For Me) to explore and document my search for my missing self esteem at 48 years old. I'm doing all kinds of uncomfortable and brave (for me) stuff, one of those being to include audio to my posts. This is my first attempt. I'd love to hear what you all think and even join me as I try to figure out how to stop hiding from the world.
Really enjoyed your post on How to fail and feel good about it! As if you've been in my head and wrote it all down (bar the Ioda references, or even Yoda). Signed up and looking forward to reading more!
The standup comedy note is hilarious. I coach women who are confident and strong in all sorts of ways, but struggle to advocate for themselves. Let me know if you want to talk! We could do an interview/conversation for a newsletter.
Oooh love the idea behind this. I did a similar thing at 47. I thought I was just quitting diets and transitioning to intuitive eating, but it turns out I was on a quest to heal myself.
My Substack is heavy stuff: Violence changed my appearance and my psyche forever, and sent my attacker into a psychiatric center formerly known as the state hospital for the criminally insane. But violence also prompted my return to horses, and their healing power. And frankly the comedy bits are endless when you're riding in your mid-50s and you're no longer worrying about competitions every weekend and instead pausing to take in what we call young horse school. It's just NUTS in the very best way. https://eliseyoung.substack.com/p/young-horse-school-and-the-fat-lady
I wrote this essay "Can You Start a Writing Career When You're Over 50?" as a Guest post for Kristina God's substack, The On Line Writing Club. It was a follow-up to an earlier article I wrote last year on my stack, The Power of Change called "Life After 50 Is Not The End."
Both have resonated with readers. I was tired of seeing endless success stories of 20 and 30 year olds smashing their dreams but none of those in mid-life who made a pivot, followed a passion, and found success at 50+.
Yes -- I already feel the energy of this community.
After 30 Years of Marriage I wondered if it was time to leave. A casual conversation with my husband ended up with us quitting our jobs and backpacking around South America to see if what we had was worth saving.
As I've hit midlife, reaching for connection has become even more important. Sometimes it's a matter of reaching back to my roots, realizing that what I'm really longing for is connection with...myself.
Life is such an adventure isn't it? I'm unpacking what I'm carrying with me and what I'm leaving behind as I hit midlife. I hope you'll join me on the journey.
I love this so much! I've been married for 27 years and have 2 adult children. Many of the thoughts and feelings you describe really resonate with me. I also love what you said about the need for connection with yourself. In the younger years of marriage, I think I expected my husband to fill the void of what was missing internally. It's liberating to now that topping myself off is up to me:).
Hi, Kaarin! I’m so glad I found your work here—just read your essay about being married for 30 years and did this ever resonate with me! We just celebrated 25 years of marriage and I’m finding I have a lot of emotions around this time of our life. I’m writing about this, and also parenting adult kids and rediscovering myself in my newsletter Moving Through. I want to write even more about longterm marriage and your words have inspired me.
I’m looking forward to reading more and have just subscribed to your newsletter community. Thank you for sharing!
This is my latest post (published this morning). My stack is called The Next Write Thing. In this essay, I write about letting go of an early childhood fear that I've carried with me through adulthood until this year. I write about my recovery process from an eating disorder, mental health, family and childhood. Hope you'll check it out! So good to be here.
How awesome are all of you? Can’t wait to read everything here!
I recently wrote about why work-life balance doesn’t make sense as a concept. Working and living are not two separate things! Our lives are more of a swirl of work, love and self-understanding. My essay talks about my mid-COVID realization that I needed to change my life.
Holly this is beautiful! It really resonated with me as I embark on possibly changing my career completely. I also really loved the line about things *feeling* brown-- I completely get that.
Thanks Nicole! Here's to escaping the brown rooms. I really love your welcome blurb on your newsletter! It's so hard to sum up what we're writing about, and you did it so well.
I loved this article Holly, it's such an interesting perspective and inspired me as I'm trying to shift my career path and come back into alignment with my values. Thanks for sharing it!
This essay developed from my constant sense of being in between identities. I'm the wife of a husband who is slowly disappearing into dementia--so am I actually married if my husband doesn't know who I am? (Legally, of course, that's a simple question. Practically? Not so much.)
First of all, I love these share threads. Mostly because we get exposed to rich writing that the algorithm may not have fed us if not for this. So, thank you! Excited to explore your stacks today!
Secondly, I'm linking my first post on my Substack, the one where my nest empties in a trifecta year for my kids and I hightail it out of our hometown because I just can't be there without them.
There is a section on my stack where I am serializing a memoir and posting weekly of my 49th year and a spiritual journey that began with a complete stranger. You're invited to that as well.
So glad to discover your Substack! Mine is focused on caregiving for my husband with Parkinson's and related dementia. PD is such a difficult and mysterious diagnosis. I'm glad to have connected with you.
This is such an important topic! Glad you wrote about it. Starting just this year, women in the US must be notified if their mammogram reveals dense breast tissue, per an FDA rule. It's astonishing and upsetting that we're only getting to this now. (for more info: https://www.cnn.com/2024/09/09/health/mammogram-breast-density-fda-wellness/index.html)
I wrote this essay "An Epidemic of Never Being Alone" for my Substack Matriarchy Report, when I realized that after I had my baby, I hadn't been alone in my home for any significant stretch of time for almost three years.
Many parents, especially women, are deprived of time to themselves, and in the comments it was wonderful to see how many women related to this. It was also delightful to see how many mid-to-late life women live alone and LOVE IT. Which no one talks about!
https://open.substack.com/pub/matriarchyreport/p/an-epidemic-of-never-being-alone?r=ywbs&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
This resonated with me so much. I will be sharing!
Aw thanks so much, Jessica! I'm glad to hear :)
I lived alone (well, with my daughter) when my marriage broke up. Then years later, after I'd dated my boyfriend for two years, we moved in together. We broke up earlier this year and I'm living alone again with my adult daughter. I can confidently say I never want to live with a man again! I find so much peace being on my own.
And also when I lived w women were some of the best times of my life. I would do this again in a heartbeat :)
I also lived alone after my divorce and I look back on it now as a golden time!! Glad to hear I love this for you :)
If I ever stopped being married for some reason, I would definitely choose to live alone! Although, I already tend to self-isolate, so maybe that's not a surprise, ha. Thanks for sharing.
I fantasize about living alone all the time!
Right there behind you! I was alone for an hour and a half yesterday and it was GLORIOUS
You're not alone!
SAME
Early motherhood turned my drinking problem into a raging drinking problem. I wish I'd had the courage to ask for support. Grateful that I did eventually. Such an important topic.
Oof, I'm so sorry. You are not alone in this. So many women and women writers who admire immensely have come out about their drinking/addictions that worsened during the pandemic lockdown--which of course was like the isolation of postpartum x1 million.
You're not alone. Thanks sharing.
I loved this essay! I felt everything you wrote about so strongly that most of my reading time was spent nodding in agreement.
Aw I'm so glad! Thanks for reading. It has been a joy to see how women respond to this--especially the ones that live alone and love it :)
I have been divorced now for 14 years, and have been alone for 10 of those years (after a post-divorce-too-soon-and painful relationship after my divorce. Lots of reasons I stayed single, but I needed the time on my own to process all of the baggage I had not realized I had.
And what I have learned is alone doesn't equate to loneliness.
In fact, being alone, whether single or otherwise, is essential and healthy for regrouping, processing that which needs processing, and energizing ourselves. I can attest to the empowerment of dancing (maybe naked) a time or two. Great prompt for us all to ponder.
Yes! "I needed the time on my own to process all of the baggage I had not realized I had." I also lived alone after my divorce and I look back on it now as such a magical and formative time.
I shared this post with my college roommate a couple weeks ago! She asked me everything I liked to do when I was alone at home- she commented she never lived alone because she always had roommates before moving in with her husband. I lived alone for only one year when I moved to my current city before my sister moved in with me while she was attending grad school.
Yes! I think this is true for so many women. I have to say that I would live alone again, but living with a sister might beat that option! Living with women has been some of the BEST times of my life.
I was talking about this last night at book club and living with my sister when she was in grad school and I was in law school was hands down best experience of my life- we had the same standards of clean, same taste in tv, divided chores really easily because we defaulted to what we did growing up. I cooked more than her but I genuinely didn’t mind because she was so appreciative of my effort. Cooking for kids compared to cooking for my sister is so much more thankless!
Yes! I love this for both of you. I also lived with my sister for a year in college and we loved it. We had so much dumb fun!
If I could talk my sisters into living in a compound I 100% would.
I actually do live on a compound of sorts with my in-laws but my sister lives 40 minutes away now- at one point my in-laws, BIL and SIL, husbands grandparents and his aunt and uncle all lived in our neighborhood but now his brother’s fam is gone and his grandparents died. But there are still 4 family owned properties on our street and then his aunt and uncle live in a house on the perpendicular street. My husband’s other aunt and uncle live 10 minutes away and the night I met them, his family joked about needing to pack a cooler to leave the compound. My husband claims we are moving in 3 school years when my oldest starts middle school but I won’t believe it until it happens. I am very thankful for the relationship my kids have with their grandparents and the relationship I have with my MIL and FIL.
My parents moved 10 minutes away 3 years ago and my sister visits on a near weekly basis.
This is so true
I read this! (As in before I saw it here on this thread) It was incredible!
Aw thanks so much Shelly! I'm glad you liked it :)
Loving this thread already!
Is midlife necessarily a crisis or is it all about getting real, unbecoming what we have been pushed to be and finally allowing ourselves to become that creative being we were meant to be from the start?
https://mirandavandenheuvel.substack.com/p/getting-real-women-and-midlife-crisis
I love reading My menopause brain.
Because here I am, sleepless in Luxembourg.
https://substack.com/home/post/p-149703675?source=queue
Rosie and her life living and writing in Italy
https://rosiemeleady.substack.com/p/my-year-of-retreats-begins?utm_source=post-banner&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=posts-open-in-app&triedRedirect=true
I love all discussions about what to call what happens to women during midlife — is it a "crisis"? A "reinvention"? A "reawakening"?
An opportunity!
It does feel a little bit like becoming and a little bit like unbecoming. I don't feel like I'm in crisis. If anything, I'm feeling a loosening up of arbitrary rules that don't work or fit anymore. Thanks for sharing these posts!
Oh, yes! "Becoming" and "Unbecoming." Those are perfect descriptors.
"It does feel a little bit like becoming and a little bit like unbecoming." --> Beautiful. Yes.
Ah this is me too!
Off to read your Substack about midlife not being a crisis but about getting real! Mine is similar to that - I see it as an opportunity! https://melissaamateis.substack.com/p/midlife-crisis-nope-midlife-opportunity
I love this. I reframed midlife as a midlife emergence® and wrote a book by that title that you may enjoy! https://a.co/h5UDU4Y
I can't wait to read your post!
Great reframe
Miranda, I've been enjoying your posts for awhile now. Keep up the excellent writing.
I love the idea of midlife being an opportunity to put down the baggage we've all been dragging around for so many years. I'm constantly realizing that my life is shaped by influences that have nothing to do with how I live my life now--but the only way to escape that influence is to acknowledge what's true for me.
I quit drinking at age 45. Instead of a crisis, I called it my Midlife Solution. Ten years later and still one of my better decisions.
"Midlife Solution", damn, I love that label.
I think of it as unbecoming everything we were told we should be to become who we truly are! YES! I call it a midlife emergence® and wrote a book by that title that you may enjoy! Loved, commented, restacked!
Love this! I’m seeing it as liberation, an opportunity for reinvention and a time to perhaps find your truest self!
I'm going to go read your piece about whether midlife is a crisis or not, out of sheer curiosity because "crisis" just doesn't resonate with me at all. It may be because of what I have going on, but I'm super curious to read what other's are experiencing. Looking forward to it!
Also, here’s the follow up article on midlife
https://mirandavandenheuvel.substack.com/p/midlife-crisis-how-to-grow-through
https://open.substack.com/pub/rosemarywritesandrecovers/p/i-dont-want-to-be-amazing-anymore?r=b84yg&utm_medium=ios
Hi! I am honored to be in the company of you badass midlifers.
This post was a guest post I wrote for SoberSubstack app. ⬆️
“I Don’t Want to Be Amazing Anymore”
The underlying inspiration for the post is sobriety from alcohol, but I address something that I think many, maybe most of us, women struggle with:
PERFECTIONISM and PEOPLE PLEASING going way back to childhood, my parents and school and clear up up my midlife parenting to adult children and my codependency there and my job.
Maybe it will resonate with you!
Such a great post Rosemary! I related all too well.
Thank you so much, Amy.
Yes! I gave up alcohol a little over a year ago, and am a recovering perfectionist. It's so interesting how it took getting to midlife for me to be able to recognize the widespread impact being a "good girl" has had on so many facets of my life.
Same on the 'good girl' and also the impact of not being one!!! 👀. In the sense of sticking up for yourself...
That connection between perfectionism and alcohol abuse is always so surprising to people. But, given that we're all imperfect human beings, how can we live with ourselves without blurring the line we can't help but cross? Even being sober is a challenge for me because I want to be the "perfect" non-drinker (as if such a thing exists.)
Yes to all of that. This resonates for me-trying to be “perfectly” sober. Eesh-the work is so hard. Thanks for sharing what landed for you, Pam.
Restacking! Yay. Love SoberStack. We ARE badasses!
And I have another stack. Launched about 2.5 months ago, it's called "Style Your Stack." I'm a web and graphic designer and have been working with writer clients to help them identify their brands and looks. Organizational and tech/backend help as well. One of my most recent posts there is about helping Sarah Fay of Substack Writers at Work rebrand that stack and I also helped her rebrand her author stack and move her away from a traditional website to only having the author stack. She's thrilled about the changes.
https://styleyourstack.substack.com/p/style-your-stack-design-sarah-fay
Nan, I will be getting it touch with you about doing a workshop in the future for our readers, if that's okay. I know for a fact that many, many of us could use your help!
LOVE this idea!
I'd love to do that! Yes, please.
Oooh, interested in your services.
Yay! I hope you get in touch. Thanks, Kristi.
Ooh that's amazing! I noticed her rebrand! What a cool concept. I can't wait to check it out!
Thanks, Shelly! Look me up!
Oh I did! I could definitely use your help!
Nan -- I need you! I've been looking for help. Can't wait to check out your site and reach out. Thanks
Super! I saw you subscribed. Looking forward to meeting you.
Hi Everyone,
This post is a bit all over the map, kind of like my ADHD brain.
It's about the healing process after losing myself in marriage and motherhood.
I also celebrate small victories of my two young-adult, autistic sons, while being honest about how challenging it is to be their mother.
I invite my readers to celebrate their own small victories and join my community where we will celebrate each other.
https://substack.com/@karenwesleywriter/note/p-149504348
I hope I'm doing this right. I'm looking forward to the posts in this thread to check you all out comment, and share you in Notes.
You are doing it perfectly! So glad you're here! xo
I appreciate your honesty and willingness to share the challenges you face. Thank you!
Love this Karen, Just subscribed.
Thank you!
This is so awesome! Thank you, thank you!
I wrote a post about how the supposed midlife "crisis" is really a midlife OPPORTUNITY, and how it's so important for women in midlife to find community and support with each other.
https://melissaamateis.substack.com/p/midlife-crisis-nope-midlife-opportunity
I both enjoyed and wholeheartedly agreed with this <3 Thanks for posting it! While I know we control very little in this life, I do think we can change our approach toward and perception of who we are and what we value. Shifting that mindset can be tough, though, especially with all the messaging we get (and have gotten)!
Your post feels like a fellow of one I wrote a few weeks ago: https://thathag.substack.com/p/laying-the-self-sacrifice-to-rest
I LOVED your post! (Left a comment). The messaging was SO strong, and I am desperate to break free of it.
I've just refocused my Stack (My Therapist Says You're All Rooting For Me) to explore and document my search for my missing self esteem at 48 years old. I'm doing all kinds of uncomfortable and brave (for me) stuff, one of those being to include audio to my posts. This is my first attempt. I'd love to hear what you all think and even join me as I try to figure out how to stop hiding from the world.
https://amybee.substack.com/p/how-to-fail-and-feel-good-about-it
And here's my first note about attempting stand-up comedy: https://substack.com/@amybee/note/c-71133209
Thank you!
Really enjoyed your post on How to fail and feel good about it! As if you've been in my head and wrote it all down (bar the Ioda references, or even Yoda). Signed up and looking forward to reading more!
That's great, Tineke, thank you. I promise that's the only Yoda reference in my arsenal! :)
What a great title and concept! Sign me up!
The standup comedy note is hilarious. I coach women who are confident and strong in all sorts of ways, but struggle to advocate for themselves. Let me know if you want to talk! We could do an interview/conversation for a newsletter.
Thank you, Pia! I’m open to talking. (See me trying to “yes, and”?!) Your work sounds fascinating.
Oooh love the idea behind this. I did a similar thing at 47. I thought I was just quitting diets and transitioning to intuitive eating, but it turns out I was on a quest to heal myself.
Thanks so much, Jessica.
My Substack is heavy stuff: Violence changed my appearance and my psyche forever, and sent my attacker into a psychiatric center formerly known as the state hospital for the criminally insane. But violence also prompted my return to horses, and their healing power. And frankly the comedy bits are endless when you're riding in your mid-50s and you're no longer worrying about competitions every weekend and instead pausing to take in what we call young horse school. It's just NUTS in the very best way. https://eliseyoung.substack.com/p/young-horse-school-and-the-fat-lady
I wrote this essay "Can You Start a Writing Career When You're Over 50?" as a Guest post for Kristina God's substack, The On Line Writing Club. It was a follow-up to an earlier article I wrote last year on my stack, The Power of Change called "Life After 50 Is Not The End."
Both have resonated with readers. I was tired of seeing endless success stories of 20 and 30 year olds smashing their dreams but none of those in mid-life who made a pivot, followed a passion, and found success at 50+.
https://open.substack.com/pub/kristinagod/p/can-you-start-a-writing-career-when?r=4l7yj&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
As you know, I loved this piece!
Thank you Jessica!
Yes -- I already feel the energy of this community.
After 30 Years of Marriage I wondered if it was time to leave. A casual conversation with my husband ended up with us quitting our jobs and backpacking around South America to see if what we had was worth saving.
https://alifeunpacked.substack.com/p/thirty-years-of-marriage-time-to
As I've hit midlife, reaching for connection has become even more important. Sometimes it's a matter of reaching back to my roots, realizing that what I'm really longing for is connection with...myself.
https://alifeunpacked.substack.com/p/swedens-national-pastime-feeds-the
Life is such an adventure isn't it? I'm unpacking what I'm carrying with me and what I'm leaving behind as I hit midlife. I hope you'll join me on the journey.
https://alifeunpacked.substack.com/p/lost-on-the-tour-du-mont-blanc
I love this so much! I've been married for 27 years and have 2 adult children. Many of the thoughts and feelings you describe really resonate with me. I also love what you said about the need for connection with yourself. In the younger years of marriage, I think I expected my husband to fill the void of what was missing internally. It's liberating to now that topping myself off is up to me:).
Hi, Kaarin! I’m so glad I found your work here—just read your essay about being married for 30 years and did this ever resonate with me! We just celebrated 25 years of marriage and I’m finding I have a lot of emotions around this time of our life. I’m writing about this, and also parenting adult kids and rediscovering myself in my newsletter Moving Through. I want to write even more about longterm marriage and your words have inspired me.
I’m looking forward to reading more and have just subscribed to your newsletter community. Thank you for sharing!
This is my latest post (published this morning). My stack is called The Next Write Thing. In this essay, I write about letting go of an early childhood fear that I've carried with me through adulthood until this year. I write about my recovery process from an eating disorder, mental health, family and childhood. Hope you'll check it out! So good to be here.
https://nantepper.com/p/the-opposite-of-fear-is-love
Great tale, I loved how you formatted it and I admire your self-examination. Thank you for sharing this, Nan!
Thanks for reading, Amy!
How awesome are all of you? Can’t wait to read everything here!
I recently wrote about why work-life balance doesn’t make sense as a concept. Working and living are not two separate things! Our lives are more of a swirl of work, love and self-understanding. My essay talks about my mid-COVID realization that I needed to change my life.
https://thisisniceforus.substack.com/p/something-better-than-work-life-balance?r=am2eq
Holly this is beautiful! It really resonated with me as I embark on possibly changing my career completely. I also really loved the line about things *feeling* brown-- I completely get that.
Thanks Nicole! Here's to escaping the brown rooms. I really love your welcome blurb on your newsletter! It's so hard to sum up what we're writing about, and you did it so well.
I loved this article Holly, it's such an interesting perspective and inspired me as I'm trying to shift my career path and come back into alignment with my values. Thanks for sharing it!
I'm so happy it resonated with you, Holly!
So glad this got shared this week Holly! You know it's one of my favorites of yours!
This essay developed from my constant sense of being in between identities. I'm the wife of a husband who is slowly disappearing into dementia--so am I actually married if my husband doesn't know who I am? (Legally, of course, that's a simple question. Practically? Not so much.)
https://msmiddler.substack.com/p/widowish
I have great admiration for your honesty. I've read (and now commented upon) several of your pieces.
Thanks so much, Deb.
Hi All,
First of all, I love these share threads. Mostly because we get exposed to rich writing that the algorithm may not have fed us if not for this. So, thank you! Excited to explore your stacks today!
Secondly, I'm linking my first post on my Substack, the one where my nest empties in a trifecta year for my kids and I hightail it out of our hometown because I just can't be there without them.
https://shellylouise.substack.com/p/starting-here
There is a section on my stack where I am serializing a memoir and posting weekly of my 49th year and a spiritual journey that began with a complete stranger. You're invited to that as well.
Hi Midstackers! Can't wait to dive into this thread.
My latest essay is one in a string where I'm reckoning with a pretty fresh Parkinson's diagnosis.
https://specialthememoir.substack.com/p/rip-ambition
If you want a little back story on the diagnosis, this is one I published on the Sober App Substack.
https://soberapp.substack.com/p/sober-recovery-parkinsons
Thank you for the opportunity to share! xo
So glad to discover your Substack! Mine is focused on caregiving for my husband with Parkinson's and related dementia. PD is such a difficult and mysterious diagnosis. I'm glad to have connected with you.
Also, I'm in Austin. We're practically neighbors.
Oh yes, indeed. Pleased to connect with you as well. Xo
Sondra! What a gem. Looking forward to reading more. -Fellow Gen X woman with "a project"
I look forward to reading about your project as well! xo
Did you know this about your breasts? I wrote this because I had no idea (until I did) and it could save lives. https://open.substack.com/pub/lesshealthstress/p/what-glennon-doyle-and-co-taught?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=1gejp4
Read with interest and restacked. I'm a fellow dense breast sister.
This is such an important topic! Glad you wrote about it. Starting just this year, women in the US must be notified if their mammogram reveals dense breast tissue, per an FDA rule. It's astonishing and upsetting that we're only getting to this now. (for more info: https://www.cnn.com/2024/09/09/health/mammogram-breast-density-fda-wellness/index.html)
Thanks! And I agree. So important.
Extremely dense here 👋
I'm glad you know your density. A lot of women don't!