I am a sober woman in midlife, writing about my midlife transitions and transformations: today's post is for All the Single (and Separated and Divorced) Ladies. I wrote about how I don't think we should call a long term relationship, especially a marriage, a Failure just because it did not last Forever. In this post, I also share about falling in love after my 30 year marriage ended-my first romantic relationship in sobriety-at age 56-and the heartache of the breakup.
Looking forward to this Show and Tell meet up next week and connecting with more midlife women bravely living their lives and writing about them.
I'm not single, but I found your question: "Why is marriage the only thing that when it ends after ten, twenty or thirty years, society judges it as a failure?" very thought-provoking. I loved your comparison to how we judge shows that ran for 10 years or seasons as hugely successfu, whereas we deem marriages that break up as failures. I think you offer a very healthy perspective and I love the questions you present as alternatives. I also think, to borrow from your post, that whenever you enter a relationship with someone that ignites your heart chakra, that's a success and a win.
Katia, thank you so much for your feedback. I appreciate you sharing how my words resonated with you, even though you are not single. That encourages me. Your thoughts on my essay help me more than you know. It did not get much traction at first and l began to have huge doubt about what I shared (was it too much, to personal, offensive?) and actually considered deleting it. I love your take that "whenever we enter a relationship with someone who ignites our heart chakra, that's a success and a win." Beautifully said!
I’m so glad you didn’t remove it. It’s hard to post something deeply personal into a void. I’m just starting to discover Substack and haven’t posted on here yet, but I’m familiar with the feeling of “releasing” something exposed and vulnerable into the world to a resonating silence. I regularly do that on LinkedIn… :-)
Like Katia, I'm not single and also fully agree that judging relationships on whether they last forever is a bad metric. I've been reading a fair amount lately about how "romance" as our culture construes it has a limiting downside that can have us missing out on a lot of good things. So I really appreciated this post too. :)
I loved this. It's interesting the changing relationships that you describe and that we all have with our boobs, and how they almost live a life of their own and you documenting it is like a biography (boobography). I didn't think much about mine until, similar to yourself, after the pregnancy when they became an omnipresence and the central axis of my being, and come to think of it, the push that I needed to start writing (long story). :-)
I did! It was in my old blog. I called it IAMTHEMILK and start writing it when my second child was a few weeks old because all I felt like all I was at the time was, well - his food. I wanted to write for awhile before that, but have always found reasons to put it off. It wasn't a concsious decision back then, but writing allowed me to reconnect to myself at a time I really needed it. And I have my boobs to thank for it... :-D
I saw the meeting info too late! I am really bummed about it. I wanted to share a piece that I wrote recently that I am proud of. I want to stress that it comes with a MAJOR CONTENT WARNING. It is part of a series of essays I am writing for a chap book about my time as a disaster relief responder. I noticed someone else in here was a humanitarian aid responder. Anyway, read if you feel comfortable. The imagery is quite vivid.
oh my gosh, Bridget, I just read this: I LOVE it. It's so good. So much juiciness in here. I like your style of writing and I adore how you made us a modern day version of a mix tape-brings to mind one of my favorite movies, 'Say Anything." I enjoyed your lens of time travel through past and present: with Valentine's Day, with your kids, life. I resonate. Staying in the present takes a lot of work for my never quiet mind.
Thank you for sharing this post, Kaarin! I absolutely LOVED this from it and will be borrowing the idea from you (with credit, of course):
"For the past couple of years, I’ve carried a handwritten 3 x 5 card in my journal. It’s what I call my Standards of Integrity, and includes: Integrity. Courage. Dignity. Equity. Compassion."
I've just joined Substack and am starting a blog, Prime Aged, that's aimed to inspire women in their midlife. It will feature conversations with and about midlife women who are excited about different aspects of their life such as their job, spiritual journey they're on or other discoveries they've made.
I'm not discussing menopause or "midlife crisis" but rather ways to reconnect with our core self - something I find that we often end up doing, whether consciously or unconsciously when we approach midlife.
The goal is to show that this can be the best time in our life and that to achieve happiness and excitement we don't have to take huge steps or go through a metamorphosis but sometimes just learn to tune into what was always there.
My question to you, Jessica - can I participate if I haven't posted to the blog yet?
This is a very different process for me. My first blog, IAMTHEMILK, was humour and personal essays, whereas I'm doing some reaserch here and preparing interviews.
I'm excited to start posting and connecting with women who are having similar experiences. I will share the link here once the post is live. Thank you so much for the vote of confidence, Erica, it is much appreciated! <3
I am a former roller derby player/decent friend/mediocre daughter/former funeral home caretaker/former Subway sandwich artist/sociology professor/chronic illness haver/Gen Xer who writes at Nevertheless, Persisting. I'm sharing my latest post in which I reflect on my lifelong struggles with food, my attempt to cure myself of Long COVID with semaglutide, and the sh!t storm that is being a lady of a certain age of a certain size with a certain illness.
I’m a semi-retired child protection lawyer, so happy to finally have the time to pursue the things that make me happy. And that means not only writing, but reading all the amazing stories and essays shared with the Substack community. The post I’m sharing is my latest, about the disillusionment experienced by mature women trying to date supposedly mature men.
I am a married Gen-Xer, but sadly I think the men you describe are not just of the Boomer generation. While women can overwhelmingly relate to the Me Too movement, I'm afraid way too many men are of the Me First school of thought. Thanks for sharing.
Oof. The men being of the Me First school of thought. Sadly, that matches my midlife dating experience dating and entering relationships with midlife men.
Lately I realized I've been writing about themes having to do with being sensitive to value and feeling called to respond to it. My post this week on work was only indirectly about that, but the week before, on beauty, was more about it. I'm working on a couple of others as well.
https://open.substack.com/pub/rosemarywritesandrecovers/p/for-all-the-single-separated-and?r=b84yg&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false
I am a sober woman in midlife, writing about my midlife transitions and transformations: today's post is for All the Single (and Separated and Divorced) Ladies. I wrote about how I don't think we should call a long term relationship, especially a marriage, a Failure just because it did not last Forever. In this post, I also share about falling in love after my 30 year marriage ended-my first romantic relationship in sobriety-at age 56-and the heartache of the breakup.
Looking forward to this Show and Tell meet up next week and connecting with more midlife women bravely living their lives and writing about them.
I'm not single, but I found your question: "Why is marriage the only thing that when it ends after ten, twenty or thirty years, society judges it as a failure?" very thought-provoking. I loved your comparison to how we judge shows that ran for 10 years or seasons as hugely successfu, whereas we deem marriages that break up as failures. I think you offer a very healthy perspective and I love the questions you present as alternatives. I also think, to borrow from your post, that whenever you enter a relationship with someone that ignites your heart chakra, that's a success and a win.
Katia, thank you so much for your feedback. I appreciate you sharing how my words resonated with you, even though you are not single. That encourages me. Your thoughts on my essay help me more than you know. It did not get much traction at first and l began to have huge doubt about what I shared (was it too much, to personal, offensive?) and actually considered deleting it. I love your take that "whenever we enter a relationship with someone who ignites our heart chakra, that's a success and a win." Beautifully said!
I’m so glad you didn’t remove it. It’s hard to post something deeply personal into a void. I’m just starting to discover Substack and haven’t posted on here yet, but I’m familiar with the feeling of “releasing” something exposed and vulnerable into the world to a resonating silence. I regularly do that on LinkedIn… :-)
Thank you! Me too. Learning to stay, leave it and let it go regardless of traction, comments or likes is an exercise in holding my center.
Woo, baby...so true. I think of my 2 marriages not as failures, but as way stations on the path to becoming me.
Like Katia, I'm not single and also fully agree that judging relationships on whether they last forever is a bad metric. I've been reading a fair amount lately about how "romance" as our culture construes it has a limiting downside that can have us missing out on a lot of good things. So I really appreciated this post too. :)
Here's one you can probably all relate to. I recently wrote about boobs and the stories they could tell. https://open.substack.com/pub/distractedbyprettythings/p/lets-talk-about-boobs?r=43tgx8&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false
I loved this. It's interesting the changing relationships that you describe and that we all have with our boobs, and how they almost live a life of their own and you documenting it is like a biography (boobography). I didn't think much about mine until, similar to yourself, after the pregnancy when they became an omnipresence and the central axis of my being, and come to think of it, the push that I needed to start writing (long story). :-)
I love this so much!
Ohhh, I'd love to hear that story. You should write it!
I did! It was in my old blog. I called it IAMTHEMILK and start writing it when my second child was a few weeks old because all I felt like all I was at the time was, well - his food. I wanted to write for awhile before that, but have always found reasons to put it off. It wasn't a concsious decision back then, but writing allowed me to reconnect to myself at a time I really needed it. And I have my boobs to thank for it... :-D
This was so terrific, thank you for sharing! 🩷
Thanks so much. I know we all have our boob stories, so why not share them?
I saw the meeting info too late! I am really bummed about it. I wanted to share a piece that I wrote recently that I am proud of. I want to stress that it comes with a MAJOR CONTENT WARNING. It is part of a series of essays I am writing for a chap book about my time as a disaster relief responder. I noticed someone else in here was a humanitarian aid responder. Anyway, read if you feel comfortable. The imagery is quite vivid.
https://open.substack.com/pub/melanieannecole/p/too-human?r=82kck&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
We have a Midstack meetup every month. Hope to see you at the next one!
Loved being there!
Thanks for joining us and sharing your journey!
I’m so looking forward to this!
Here’s my valentine to all of you - mixtape included!
https://open.substack.com/pub/bridcro/p/valentine-for-the-end-of-time
oh my gosh, Bridget, I just read this: I LOVE it. It's so good. So much juiciness in here. I like your style of writing and I adore how you made us a modern day version of a mix tape-brings to mind one of my favorite movies, 'Say Anything." I enjoyed your lens of time travel through past and present: with Valentine's Day, with your kids, life. I resonate. Staying in the present takes a lot of work for my never quiet mind.
THANK YOU! This means a lot to me. Also, Say Anything is the best ever. 🩵
I am a former humanitarian aid worker turned writer who finding her adventures these days just by muddling through life. Last week I wrote about a post being deleted on Facebook -- https://alifeunpacked.substack.com/p/ive-gone-dark-not-silent
Thank you for sharing this post, Kaarin! I absolutely LOVED this from it and will be borrowing the idea from you (with credit, of course):
"For the past couple of years, I’ve carried a handwritten 3 x 5 card in my journal. It’s what I call my Standards of Integrity, and includes: Integrity. Courage. Dignity. Equity. Compassion."
Hi everyone!
I've just joined Substack and am starting a blog, Prime Aged, that's aimed to inspire women in their midlife. It will feature conversations with and about midlife women who are excited about different aspects of their life such as their job, spiritual journey they're on or other discoveries they've made.
I'm not discussing menopause or "midlife crisis" but rather ways to reconnect with our core self - something I find that we often end up doing, whether consciously or unconsciously when we approach midlife.
The goal is to show that this can be the best time in our life and that to achieve happiness and excitement we don't have to take huge steps or go through a metamorphosis but sometimes just learn to tune into what was always there.
My question to you, Jessica - can I participate if I haven't posted to the blog yet?
This is a very different process for me. My first blog, IAMTHEMILK, was humour and personal essays, whereas I'm doing some reaserch here and preparing interviews.
Thanks and can't wait to get to know everyone,
Katia
This sounds cool, Katia! I'm seeing these themes in my own life. I look forward to reading what you come up with. :)
Also, I love your bio. The topics you care about resonate with me.
Oh yay! I'm glad. :)
I'm excited to start posting and connecting with women who are having similar experiences. I will share the link here once the post is live. Thank you so much for the vote of confidence, Erica, it is much appreciated! <3
https://amyblackstonephd.substack.com/p/the-more-colors-that-you-eat
I am a former roller derby player/decent friend/mediocre daughter/former funeral home caretaker/former Subway sandwich artist/sociology professor/chronic illness haver/Gen Xer who writes at Nevertheless, Persisting. I'm sharing my latest post in which I reflect on my lifelong struggles with food, my attempt to cure myself of Long COVID with semaglutide, and the sh!t storm that is being a lady of a certain age of a certain size with a certain illness.
https://open.substack.com/pub/suzesq/p/after-sleeping-beauty-awakens?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
I’m a semi-retired child protection lawyer, so happy to finally have the time to pursue the things that make me happy. And that means not only writing, but reading all the amazing stories and essays shared with the Substack community. The post I’m sharing is my latest, about the disillusionment experienced by mature women trying to date supposedly mature men.
I am a married Gen-Xer, but sadly I think the men you describe are not just of the Boomer generation. While women can overwhelmingly relate to the Me Too movement, I'm afraid way too many men are of the Me First school of thought. Thanks for sharing.
Oof. The men being of the Me First school of thought. Sadly, that matches my midlife dating experience dating and entering relationships with midlife men.
"Supposedly mature men" 😂🫢🤔😬😥
Oh, wow. I just read this, Suzanne. Sadly, it landed with me in a big way, but you told our story so well.
Thanks for the kind words. (I made a longer reply on the post where you left more personal comments. Thanks for sharing your experience.)
Holy cow -- my friends can relate to this! Do they ever grow up??
There must be one who has. I just haven’t met him yet.
Hi everyone - Sharing my theme for February here. I write about joy, mindfulness, creativity, and mindful productivity. My theme for the month of February is Heart-Centred Focus. https://open.substack.com/pub/passionpurposetoday/p/heart-centred-focus-aligning-productivity?r=4vjhmy&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false
In the same lane as @Erica Lucast Stonestreet's piece about value of hard work v. rest. I cringe at the word retirement.
https://open.substack.com/pub/catherinehpalmer/p/reinspirement?r=e3a7n&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false
Lately I realized I've been writing about themes having to do with being sensitive to value and feeling called to respond to it. My post this week on work was only indirectly about that, but the week before, on beauty, was more about it. I'm working on a couple of others as well.
This week's post on work: https://ericalucaststonestreet.substack.com/p/the-virtue-of-hard-work?r=25crho
Last week's on beauty: https://ericalucaststonestreet.substack.com/p/the-call-of-beauty?r=25crho
https://substack.com/@amilthompson/note/c-93093657?r=227io0&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=notes-share-action
https://open.substack.com/pub/megansvos/p/spiraling?r=a26sd&utm_medium=ios
I wrote about how I experienced a challenging event for my 13 year-old autistic daughter, and the things it brought up for me. Thanks for reading!