I resonate with all of this. As I told a friend recently, I'm 60 years old--you'd think I might be able to stop being afraid of my (long since departed) Dad's opinion. But those people-pleasing roots run deep.
My daughter Marielle Velander and I wrote this post as part of our six-part series about walking the 300-kilometer Camino de Santiago across Portugal and Spain in September, a journey for us that was as much spiritual as physical. This part 5 is about our Camino project: asking other pilgrims we met along the way as well as waiters and shopkeepers and guesthouse owners and our own beloveds: “What song keeps you going when life gets hard?.” We're still crowdsourcing songs for the Spotify playlist available to download in the post. Please share your song here or there!
Here's how we explained our quest: "There are no strangers on the Camino—only friends waiting to be found...As two people for whom music has always been the conduit to our joy, sorrow, longing and all our deepest emotions, we suspected we would find at least some kindred souls along the Way. We were not disappointed. This quote from poet Mark Nepo inspired the title of the piece, We Are All Rivers: "We all share the same river. It flows beneath us and through us, from one dry heart to the next…It makes the Earth one living thing."
The first perfectionist book I’ve read, which breaks it down to embrace rather than change. It’s dense, and has been a slower read - but it’s been full of gold.
I wrote about taking time to pause in life so we can ask meaningful questions. It’s related to the Japanese concept of Ma, which represents “the space between things.” Ma has been described as the silence between the notes in music. Without it, our lives are just noise.
This concept is so interesting, and articulates something I’ve often pondered over the last few years. And I completely relate to your description of your brain.
I love this idea! In my creative writing classes, I have a really difficult time getting students to understand the concept of "white space"--places left blank in order to communicate something (a time shift, a perspective shift, etc.) Now I have another way of talking about it!
Intrigued to learn that I had no idea what my values were, I took an online quiz, chose from a list of 117 words, mulled it over with a friend and ate too much pita. In an earlier post, I realized one of my most important values was independence, and in this essay, I find my way to knowing that another one is progress. “Progress is busting out of a too-small narrative and finding more.”
I wrote this because I’m newly using a wheelchair and just can’t stand the idea that disabled folks killing ourselves is romantic. Plus I wanted to write about The Last of Us.
I actually did like the episode even though it made me angry. I am holding conflicting feelings in my head at once. I think F Scott Fitzgerald said that was a mark of intelligence. 😀
I loved this piece! It made me want to buy a Walkman. We have a CD player still in my kids’ room and I quite enjoy using it. My mom lives a few miles away and has a record player so I’ve debated buying more vinyl.
https://heydary.substack.com/publish/posts/detail/148296793 I wrote about The Broken v. Intact Family in response to Amanda Montei’s series on the language of reality tv. It feels incredibly relevant during this valorization of the nuclear family when there are many other ways to form community.
I have been restacking a lot of great writing with few comments but Clara of Hmm that’s Interesting, Kari Bentley-Quinn and Jessica Valenti were all top restacking for me this week. I read the cross post and perhaps I will try that next week but I’ve been very scattered this close to the election.
For so many women, perimenopause and menopause, and midlife in general, is this dreaded experience instead of a celebration.
I truly believe our attitude determines our outcome and whether it’s positive or negative. While I don’t have all the answers, I wanted to share a few of the mindset strategies that have helped me.
This week I released my story of why, for the first time in my life, at 52 I'm finally creating goals for myself that I created and society didn't thrust upon me.
I'd love to hear other women's stories of goal creating or reinvention at midlife. If you leave your post as a reply here or comment on my post your story I'll come by to read it. (I already see there may be some. )
Encouraging midlife women, especially around hospitality to pick up the pen and share their stories. Rereading it this morning, I’m reminded that we’re always writing to teach ourselves and I can do much of what I recommend - give yourself compassion to get through the fear y’all.
I hear people tossing around “child abuse” to describe parents who vaccinate their children, or allow them to walk home from school alone. As a child protection attorney, I have a different perspective.
I'm an academic, but in recent years I've been drawn away from academic publication and more toward public philosophy. I spent my sabbatical last spring writing a popular-audience book that traces the way clusters of philosophical ideas about human nature have shaped the way we live today. I also started my Substack, because writing the book reminded me how much I actually like writing when I think it can make a difference. (And secondarily because I was told that having a platform helps get a book published!) So I wrote this post because I was excited to learn from exploring Substack that the care ethics my book ultimately argues for is starting to get attention in wider conversations.
I wrote this post to show that it’s never too late to make changes. I am 52 but have just recently began a rebirth of sorts. Read it here!
https://substack.com/@vannessawallin/note/c-73588388?r=oegbr&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=notes-share-action
I resonate with all of this. As I told a friend recently, I'm 60 years old--you'd think I might be able to stop being afraid of my (long since departed) Dad's opinion. But those people-pleasing roots run deep.
I commented on your note and restacked it!
I too am going through a midlife death and rebirth that has been unfolding for the last 2 years...thanks for sharing!
Liked and commented xx
An essay about the important moments of midlife that go unmarked, the milestones we plow right through.
https://substack.com/home/post/p-150134969
This is so lovely.
beautiful!
Thanks, Megan!
Beautiful. Hear I am holding back tears in the allergist’s office.
Aw, thank you Kristi!
This is beautiful . Ring that bell!
Thank you, Vanessa!
THE MUSIC THAT KEEPS US GOING: “What song keeps you going when life gets hard?,”
https://amybrown.substack.com/p/we-are-all-rivers-a-journey-through
My daughter Marielle Velander and I wrote this post as part of our six-part series about walking the 300-kilometer Camino de Santiago across Portugal and Spain in September, a journey for us that was as much spiritual as physical. This part 5 is about our Camino project: asking other pilgrims we met along the way as well as waiters and shopkeepers and guesthouse owners and our own beloveds: “What song keeps you going when life gets hard?.” We're still crowdsourcing songs for the Spotify playlist available to download in the post. Please share your song here or there!
Here's how we explained our quest: "There are no strangers on the Camino—only friends waiting to be found...As two people for whom music has always been the conduit to our joy, sorrow, longing and all our deepest emotions, we suspected we would find at least some kindred souls along the Way. We were not disappointed. This quote from poet Mark Nepo inspired the title of the piece, We Are All Rivers: "We all share the same river. It flows beneath us and through us, from one dry heart to the next…It makes the Earth one living thing."
Such a fantastic way to make connections Amy!
Thanks Holly
Loved it and restacked it
Thank you!
I loved this for so many reasons! What an adventure and what a way to connect and get through it all! Brilliant! Thank you!
PS my song is Patience by Guns N Roses!
Thank you Vannessa!
WE NEED YOUR ART
Remember…Your “Good Enough” is better than 99% of the world’s “Perfect.”
Stop re-writing.
Stop over-thinking.
Get your “Good Enough” out into the world.
People need it.
It’s Perfect.
https://substack.com/@laptoplifelisa/note/c-73962919
Yesssss! Reading Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control right now - which is aligned with much of your words. 💪
Haven’t heard of that! I’ll go pick it up!
The first perfectionist book I’ve read, which breaks it down to embrace rather than change. It’s dense, and has been a slower read - but it’s been full of gold.
restacked :-)
Restacked!
I wrote about taking time to pause in life so we can ask meaningful questions. It’s related to the Japanese concept of Ma, which represents “the space between things.” Ma has been described as the silence between the notes in music. Without it, our lives are just noise.
https://lindseydeloachjones.substack.com/p/the-silence-between-notes
This concept is so interesting, and articulates something I’ve often pondered over the last few years. And I completely relate to your description of your brain.
This speaks deep into my soul right now. While my husband calls it a midlife crisis, I call it a search for more, for what's within.
I love this idea! In my creative writing classes, I have a really difficult time getting students to understand the concept of "white space"--places left blank in order to communicate something (a time shift, a perspective shift, etc.) Now I have another way of talking about it!
Intrigued to learn that I had no idea what my values were, I took an online quiz, chose from a list of 117 words, mulled it over with a friend and ate too much pita. In an earlier post, I realized one of my most important values was independence, and in this essay, I find my way to knowing that another one is progress. “Progress is busting out of a too-small narrative and finding more.”
https://thisisniceforus.substack.com/p/the-power-of-knowing-yourself?r=am2eq
Love this! I will do any online quiz, and I especially like ones about values or personality traits. Your post is so thoughtful and well-structured.
Thank you, Jessica! I love having this space to revisit our pieces of writing.
I wrote this because I’m newly using a wheelchair and just can’t stand the idea that disabled folks killing ourselves is romantic. Plus I wanted to write about The Last of Us.
https://open.substack.com/pub/wheelchairbound/p/minority-report?r=m08y4&utm_medium=ios
Thanks for sharing this. I did love that episode of THE LAST OF US, but your perspective made me think about it differently.
I actually did like the episode even though it made me angry. I am holding conflicting feelings in my head at once. I think F Scott Fitzgerald said that was a mark of intelligence. 😀
I find it hard to write about my DEEP FEELINGS, so I like to report on current things that make me analyze my own nostalgia and how younger generations think, to more fully understand the world now. So I wrote about how cassettes and Walkmans are back and why: https://open.substack.com/pub/heywhatevernevermind/p/gen-z-cassettes-tapes-walkmans?r=16xq6&utm_medium=ios
This is fascinating! I didn't know any of this. Great post!
Thanks, Jessica! (And this thread is amazing )
I loved this piece! It made me want to buy a Walkman. We have a CD player still in my kids’ room and I quite enjoy using it. My mom lives a few miles away and has a record player so I’ve debated buying more vinyl.
I miss that scritchy sound vinyl makes
Excellent. Restacked!
Thank you so much!
I enjoyed this! Restacked!
Thank you so much!!
https://substack.com/@elizabethheydary/note/c-73631877?r=qwrmd&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=notes-share-action I reshared a post about What Makes a Present Parent when Gilmore Women wrote their recap of Christopher finding Lorelai’s letter about Luke. I’m also proud of my writing in the comments and they shouted me out in their post for talking about family law and custody cases.
https://heydary.substack.com/publish/posts/detail/148296793 I wrote about The Broken v. Intact Family in response to Amanda Montei’s series on the language of reality tv. It feels incredibly relevant during this valorization of the nuclear family when there are many other ways to form community.
I have been restacking a lot of great writing with few comments but Clara of Hmm that’s Interesting, Kari Bentley-Quinn and Jessica Valenti were all top restacking for me this week. I read the cross post and perhaps I will try that next week but I’ve been very scattered this close to the election.
Oh, I hear you! I'm finding it very hard to stay focused as well.
This week I wrote about whimsy at midlife after decades of the productivity hustle. I highly recommend whimsy!
https://open.substack.com/pub/kathryndezur
So do I!
For so many women, perimenopause and menopause, and midlife in general, is this dreaded experience instead of a celebration.
I truly believe our attitude determines our outcome and whether it’s positive or negative. While I don’t have all the answers, I wanted to share a few of the mindset strategies that have helped me.
https://www.almostsated.com/p/choosing-love-over-fear-in-menopause
Love this perspective on aging and menopause! I often need this reminder.
This article is a good reminder to keep my knees bent and accept my ever rapidly changing body.
Subscribed!
Thank You, Jess!!
Thank you for doing this Jessica.
This week I released my story of why, for the first time in my life, at 52 I'm finally creating goals for myself that I created and society didn't thrust upon me.
https://open.substack.com/pub/allierambles/p/reinventing-myself-at-52-can-it-be?r=3qnf0&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true
I'd love to hear other women's stories of goal creating or reinvention at midlife. If you leave your post as a reply here or comment on my post your story I'll come by to read it. (I already see there may be some. )
Encouraging midlife women, especially around hospitality to pick up the pen and share their stories. Rereading it this morning, I’m reminded that we’re always writing to teach ourselves and I can do much of what I recommend - give yourself compassion to get through the fear y’all.
https://open.substack.com/pub/luncheonette/p/new-rules?r=9tvo6&utm_medium=ios
Coming Home Doesn’t begin at your doorstep…
https://substack.com/@bukus/note/c-73626510
I needed this gentle reminder as an American living in the UK for 9 years. Thank you. Beautifully written!
Your welcome
This is beautiful. I'll be sharing and commenting. :-)
I hear people tossing around “child abuse” to describe parents who vaccinate their children, or allow them to walk home from school alone. As a child protection attorney, I have a different perspective.
https://substack.com/@suzesq/p-150063771
I'm an academic, but in recent years I've been drawn away from academic publication and more toward public philosophy. I spent my sabbatical last spring writing a popular-audience book that traces the way clusters of philosophical ideas about human nature have shaped the way we live today. I also started my Substack, because writing the book reminded me how much I actually like writing when I think it can make a difference. (And secondarily because I was told that having a platform helps get a book published!) So I wrote this post because I was excited to learn from exploring Substack that the care ethics my book ultimately argues for is starting to get attention in wider conversations.
https://ericalucaststonestreet.substack.com/p/care-is-a-thing
I loved discovering your substack! As a former academic myself, I love how you’re bringing your knowledge to a public audience.